Kryptonite

Let me say it this way; I am a walking allergic reaction. I'm triggered by everything everyone else gets to enjoy. Cats and dogs, the sun, the wind, fumes, and dust ( the last two you shouldn't enjoy) I'm content with lurking in dark spaces, and when I can't do that, I have to wear sunglasses that cover most of my face. I blink more times a minute than I can count and it even happens with my eyes closed.  But my eyes are as sharp as a hawk. I see you coming for miles, and when I enter a room or a shop, I scan everything down to the detail in just a quarter of a second. Some say I have great taste, but I think it's just a good eye or two. I pick out the best item before anyone else. A super power of sorts, and with great power comes great sensitivity!

Recently I decided to take a road trip to a magical place. A town with a little goldmine, yes here you find one of the largest fabric stores in the country! But let me tell you, as a human with a super power, it's easy to know when there is Kryptonite around and in this mystical place, there is definitely that! The previous time I went, I got chicken pocks at age 29, and this time I am sure I was hallucinating, but let me rather start from the beginning.

Seeing that I am going on a big fabric adventure, you must just know that my body is shaking with excitement, a speedometer filled with kilometers will gift me with hours of fabric daydreams, high spirits, and anticipation! 

Finally, I am there, and I enter paradise! It took a moment for me to take it all in and then it happened, Kryptonite got its grip on me. The last clear thing I remember is that people take a trolley as they enter and proceed. I didn't do that because I have a good eye, and will get what I need in a second. I look left, and instead of a button section, I see a button department! I try to scan for the shell buttons, but all the buttons are swimming around my head like tropical fish in a big blue ocean. " I will come back later," I say with confidence!

I walk from one department to the other, not knowing where I am heading. It's never ending. It feels like those dreams where you climb stairs that are going nowhere or when you are walking in a maze that is always turning left. You later wake up tired and upset at the pointless dream and unnecessary exhaustion.

I get to a garden of silk flowers, mesmerized I spent some time here. Days could have gone by, I'm not sure, but I decided to leave at some point only to enter the set of Master Chef. Next is a castle made out of everything that comes in plastic shapes, and then the world of cats and dogs. Department after department after department I go.

 Where's the fabric? And where am I? After what feels like weeks of dwelling around, in the far distance I can see it, an oasis!

As I approach the gateway to fabric heaven, I have to walk through an alley of a thousand pigeon holes stuffed with different prints of viscose lycra stacked from the floor to the ceiling on both sides and in between are more shelves full of it. Every print under the sun, in every color imaginable, and if that's not enough, they also have every print in three different sizes!

I immediately walk towards the beaded lace section but realize even if I find the most beautiful lace on earth, I could never narrow it down to only one color,  so I backtrack to the mesh. Before I get to it, I change direction towards the knits, and soon it 's the dance I do when I hear Jack Parrow play...  and I start to cry... I want everything, but I didn't get a trolley.

I pull myself together and decide only to get what I came for. My arms are carrying more than they should. A cold sweat is happening on my face, and I start to panic. Out of nowhere a little man appears and asks if he can help me, and he offers me his empty shopping donkey.

 So now that I have my trolley, instead of relaxing I am fabric possessed, pulling out prints when I suddenly hear a voice behind me say " You have beautiful blue eyes, can I borrow them for the weekend? I promise I will give them back. How does it feel to have blue eyes? Please lend them to me" Horrified I am trying to act like it's normal, but all I can think about is that I must be in Miss Peregrines time loop now. My trolly is full anyway, so I make a run for it! Pushing my overloaded fabric vehicle through the narrow aisles saying to myself, is this real? Is this real? 

Next thing I know, I am standing in a queue, patiently waiting. The slowest moving human I have ever seen is measuring out the ladies fabric in from of me. When she gets to about 10 meters, she loses count and has to start again.  And then it all became a slur and a slush. 

I only regained my right mind when I entered Kempton Park on the R21 North, not knowing if it was a dream or not. My eyes start blinking, blinking, blinking, charging my super power back to normal and in the rear view mirror I see it, black bags stacked to the roof of my little car, filled with soft woven treasure! 
It was real!

Posted on August 1, 2017 .